There's a gift in every day

Erv and Marian Wiens, both 82, have been married for 60 years. Raised in the Mennonite Brethren Church, they worked with Mennonite Central Committee (MCC) in Kenya, Zambia, and Ontario. 

Erv also pastored in Breslau, Ontario; Windsor, Ontario; Calgary, Alberta; and in South Korea, before serving as an interim pastor in several congregations. 

Marian’s first career was as a mother to their six children. Later, she returned to school to become a counsellor, serving as director for Shalom Counselling in Leamington, Ontario, before training as a spiritual director.

Erv and Marian live in Waterloo, Ontario, where they attend Elevation Church.

What is your best memory of church? 

Erv: The Jesus Village Church in Korea. These people had such generosity to welcome us from a totally different culture. They wanted to be part of the Anabaptist tradition and to have a sense of community, and they asked us to teach about that. The peace position has also become very significant in Korean Anabaptist churches. They have compulsory military service, and hundreds of people in the churches work for peace. This past October, 12 years after we left, they invited us back for a trip. It was at the top of my bucket list. It was a prime church experience

Marion: We attended and pastored Mennonite churches, but during our MCC experiences, we met amazing people of all different denominations who gave us a wider sense of church. Being Mennonite was a significant faith expression and we always enjoyed Mennonite churches, but we had a broader and freer sense of identity as Christ-followers.

What is your most difficult memory of church?

Erv: In my young adult years in the ’60s, I spent a lot of time criticizing and being angry at the church I had come from. A friend eventually told me I had to stop. I recognized that church had also changed, and that I had to let it be what it was and be what I was.

Tell us about the people who influenced you the most.

Marion: When I was growing up, everything was black and white, and that felt comfortable. When we lived in Zambia, I remember having a conversation with a man named Jake Loewen who was an anthropologist, who taught me that some things were grey.

I was so upset and anxious; how would I ever know what was right and wrong? Eventually that developed into freedom. There are certain basics—love is right, hate is wrong—but beyond that, I’ve learned to let go of that which is hurtful and take on that which is good.

Erv: My grade 6 teacher, Mrs. Frazer, and my grade 11 teacher, Mr. Bruce, inspired me to become a teacher just like them.

Can you share a favourite book, passage, poem or song?

Marion: What was significant to me as a young woman is different than what formed me later. Right now, I would choose Richard Rohr.

Erv: I’ve read, reread and preached about the poem “Ulysses” by Tennyson. I would also say The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

What is the hardest thing about getting old? What is best?

Erv: I have Parkinson’s so living with health issues is one of the hardest things for me to deal with. Sometimes I think it’s more frustrating for Marian. I didn’t want to get a walker, and it took me a while to appreciate our Parkinson’s support group. We are longtime walkers, but now it is medicinal. Parkinson’s has made me more introverted than I was.

Marion: The best thing is being able to say, “I don’t know, don’t want to and don’t have the energy.” That and the children. It has always been about children and grandchildren.

What do you wish someone had told you about ageing earlier in life?

Marion: I probably wouldn’t have believed them! But I would say to young people that life is to be enjoyed as long as you have it.

What gives me joy and keeps me from just sitting in a rocking chair and giving up on life is keeping active in my body, having a few good friends, meditating to get a word from God, family, interacting with children. I don’t want to be an unhappy person. There’s always a gift in each day and season.

If you had one chance at a sermon, what would it be about?

Erv: I think the story of the Prodigal Son is the best parable Jesus told, and it does more to teach us about who God is than anything else in scripture. I have preached on it before and would gladly do so again.