‘Trusting God to be present’

I have no medical training. Moving among nursing staff and doctors with years of clinical training and experience on my first day seeing patients at Cambridge (Ont.) Memorial Hospital, I felt out of place.

Am I qualified to be here? I wondered, as I went down the hallway to Room 325, where my supervisor had sent me on my first assessment. I knocked on the door and asked Mary* if she wanted a visit with me, a volunteer chaplain. She thanked me and politely declined. Success! Perhaps I could do this after all.

From last October to the end of March I spent two days every week at the hospital taking classes and visiting patients as part of the clinical pastoral education (CPE) program. CPE is a volunteer placement that helps participants grow in self-awareness and ministry skills in a hospital chaplaincy setting. I worked with a group of five other students, most of them pastors, to provide spiritual care to any patient, staff or volunteer who needed it.

On an average visiting day I saw up to 15 patients to “assess” if they wanted spiritual care. Mostly this meant knocking on doors and saying a friendly hello; some patients accepted, some declined. I also made repeat visits to people I knew could use support.

Occasionally patients or staff requested a chaplain for a variety of spiritual needs, including prayer for a dead or dying loved one. When that happened, it was our job to listen, give comfort and support where possible, or to call their parish priest or minister to take over. Every visit gave us something to learn about ourselves or about ministry.

On teaching days we learned care strategies and worked on self-awareness to provide comfort and helpful care. We routinely shared with the group and our supervisor after challenging visits, to learn from each other’s experiences.

At the hospital I was a member of a team of doctors, nurses, social workers, occupational therapists, speech pathologists, pharmacists and recreation therapists. All of us worked together for the good of each patient. As a part-time chaplain I probably saw patients less than any of these staff. Spiritual care has seemingly the smallest role in most patients’ recoveries, which is exactly as it should be. Even so, I believe that our presence as chaplains was often critical.

I did no miracles in my seven months. I saw no miraculous healings, conversions or dying-breath reconciliations. However, I did meet people from different walks of life at critical moments in their journey. I had the privilege of hearing people’s stories, of witnessing the healing taking place already. I was able to share words of comfort and hope, or a word of prayer.

One visit in particular stands out. Bob* was an elderly gentleman and our conversation was awkward and hazy, like he was a little bit confused. He seemed to be either lonely or anxious. Although I did not know how to help him, I sat at his bedside, attended to his words, held his hand and reminded him he was a good person. Afterward, I felt like I had brushed against something inexpressibly sacred. Did I do anything? Bob did not seem to remember much about our visits when I’d meet him again the next week. Did God do something? I believe God was there, working in and through me. Other patients often thanked me for doing little more than stopping by and trusting God to be present.

I learned something about my vocation as a Christian and as a minister at that hospital. Like the mustard seed, sometimes the smallest presence can make the greatest difference. I do not know all the ways God touched patients’ lives at the hospital, nor do I know exactly how much of a difference my chaplaincy made. I do know that God touched my life. Through my efforts to cooperate with God I learned that others may experience a similar touch.

* Pseudonyms.

Michael Turman is a theological studies student at Conrad Grebel University College. He lives in Kitchener with his wife Alicia.