What will you do for love?

March 27, 2013 | Viewpoints
Melissa Miller |

Weddings are natural places where we think and talk about love. At the two weddings I attended recently, love was all over the place—in the words of the preacher, in the warm support of gathered family and friends, in the vows exchanged by the bride and groom, and especially in their radiant faces, beaming as they sealed their commitment with a passionate kiss. Of course, we all applauded at such enthusiastic expressions of love.

Love is also present in the story of Mary’s tender care of Jesus, as told in John 12. She offered Jesus the most loving act she could conceive of, anointing his feet with costly perfume, then wiping those same feet with her hair. Her intimate, vulnerable gesture draws us in with its sensory details: Jesus’ well-travelled bare feet; the sweet fragrance of perfume; Mary’s hands gently touching his feet; her hair cascading over his feet, mingling with the perfume; the shocked faces of the bystanders. Mary’s act of love had a poignant dimension, given that death hovered like a shadow in the background.

Witnesses to the encounter between Mary and Jesus didn’t see, or turned away from seeing, the love and the poignancy; instead, they raged with judgment and embarrassment. What is a holy man doing allowing a woman to touch him this way in public? they asked. Why is this costly perfume being wasted? Why wasn’t this precious resource given to care for the hungry poor?

Jesus reprimanded those who would shame Mary. “Leave her alone,” he said “She is preparing me for my death, for my burial. Wherever the gospel is told, she will be remembered and honoured.” What Mary did for love was understood and honoured by Jesus. I wonder if the powerful scent of the perfume would have stayed with Jesus and with Mary as he endured his trial and death? Would it have been a comfort to them?

How does death affect our acts of love? When death comes calling, it seems that we are often drawn back to the basics of caring for the body. Touch. Physical presence. Salty tears. Words of affection. Memories celebrated. Gratitude for what has been. This is one of the gifts I am privileged to witness as a pastor: the ways people care for each other at times of death—grandchildren who offer one final, sweet hug to Grandma; spouses who steadfastly stay at the hospital bedside, walking with their loved one in the valley of shadows; friends and family members holding each other in the shocking hours after a sudden tragedy.

At times our bodies are the best way God has to assure the grieving ones of his love and care. God’s steadfast love is enfleshed in our hands and arms and voices, by the whole of our bodies. And blessed are we when we experience this “God-ness” within our bodies, whether we are on the giving or the receiving end of such care.

Jesus demonstrated God’s love by the way he cared for his friends shortly before his death. His humble act of washing the feet of his disciples is told in John 13, paralleling Mary’s act of loving service in the previous chapter. John’s placement of the two foot-cleansing stories suggests both Mary and Jesus were generous with their love, willing to give of themselves lavishly and freely.

What might we do for love? Are we most responsive during the big events of life, like weddings and deaths? Or could we exercise such generosity in the little moments as well?

Melissa Miller (familyties@mts.net) lives in Winnipeg. She is wrapped in the family ties of daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend and pastor.

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