‘You can’t keep everything you love’

Welcome to “Life in the 80s,” a semi-regular series in which we ask people in their 80s or 90s to share their wisdom.

Ed (85) and Louise (84) Janzen met as students at Mennonite Educational Institute (MEI) in Abbotsford, B.C. Both grew up in the Mennonite Brethren Church.

Ed has worked in human resources and as executive director of Mennonite Central Committee (MCC) B.C. Louise taught private piano lessons and worked in music programming in care homes in Toronto and Abbotsford.

The Janzens served three years with MCC in Jamaica. They are members of Emmanuel Mennonite Church in Abbotsford.

Their answers below have been lightly edited for length and clarity.

What is your earliest/best memory of church?

Ed: I remember my mom taking us to Sunday school and pre-Sunday school in Coaldale, Alberta. We would have been 4 or 5 years old or so.

Louise: I grew up in the Clearbrook [Mennonite Brethren] Church. I recall singing all the old songs by the fire in the furnace room.

Any difficult memories?

Ed: During my university years, my [previous] beliefs seemed sort of old-fashioned and outdated. I didn’t see the value in church at that point.

Louise: We had evangelical revival meetings once a year, and I always found those difficult. You’d get all riled up for a week, then go back to normal life. I never liked them; they never really did anything for me.

Tell us about the people who influenced you the most.

Ed: My parents did the most, also young people’s leaders, particularly Sunday school teachers. In Ottawa, when I was working for the federal government, there were people like Bill Dick, our pastor at that time, and his wife, who showed us friendship that lasted until their death.

Louise: My father was an influence. Also in Ottawa, Bill Dick’s wife, Mary. I had never run into people like them. She didn’t think she had to fill a role as a pastor’s wife; she was just a woman who taught school. It was an eye-opener to see a different kind of church.

Can you share a favourite book, passage, poem or song?

Ed: As an English major, I remember Shakespeare, such as, “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day. . . .” I also remember German poems from MEI. One verse I recall is: “Remember thy creator in the days of your youth,” from Ecclesiastes 12. We learned that at MEI.

Louise: I remember William Blake’s Songs of Innocence. When our daughter died at age 7, we had this poem put on her gravestone: “He who binds to himself a joy / Does the winged life destroy / He who kisses the joy as it flies / Lives in eternity’s sunrise.” I’ve learned through life that you can’t keep everything you love. When you let go, you keep things. Even our son [who lives overseas]—we hardly see him, but he is a beloved son.

What do you wish young people knew about growing old?

Ed: That we just take more time to process things! They don’t understand that.

Louise: The importance of friends. Also, realizing how precious our time is. I’d like to hold time back, but you can’t hold onto it. When you‘re younger you don’t think about being 80 or 85. Now it’s very real.

What is the hardest thing about getting old? What is best?

Ed: The physical limitations. You don’t walk as fast. You have to be careful where you walk.

Louise: I see a hill and I panic because of arthritic knees. Falling is my greatest fear.

What is best?

Ed: You have time to enjoy life, time to reflect and just enjoy others’ company.

Louise: We’re in a time where we say we are content. We don’t have many worries. We have a good life.

What do you wish someone had told you about aging earlier in life?

Ed: How limiting it can be. Before, you could turn on a dime; now it takes a lot longer. If you don’t slow down, you fall! I wished I would have prepared a little more.

Louise: I was not an athlete as Ed was. I wish I had looked after myself more in terms of physical activity. If I had worked harder at it, I would have been in better shape. Walking was always a pleasure to me, but now it hurts.

If you had one chance at a sermon, what would it be about?

Ed: I think it would be to enjoy life while you can and particularly to treasure friendships. Concentrate on them and not on difficult things.

Louise: The small things aren’t important enough to get upset about. Life is too short to bother with that. Try to see the positive and don’t look at what isn’t good.

If you know a wise senior, contact editor@canadianmennonite.org.