As a child, I had a deep sense of faith and a strong connection to God. I benefitted from being the fourth generation of my mom’s family to participate in Waterloo-Kitchener United Mennonite Church. But as I grew older, I began to struggle with organized religion and the hate that came from many involved in it. This made me push God away. I also distanced myself from the church.
Two years ago, I experienced a significant mental health downturn. The anxiety that had been part of my early childhood became debilitating, and I stepped away from my university studies. It was a time of deep darkness, confusion and struggle. I often thought I wouldn’t make it. I felt lost, isolated and overwhelmed by the weight of my circumstances.
Photo: Supplied
Amid that challenging season, I discovered I have ADHD. This revelation brought a mix of emotions—relief, as I finally had an explanation for many of my struggles, and uncertainty, as I faced the reality of living with this condition. Yet, in this discovery I found God’s hand at work. He led me to the right resources, supportive individuals and the courage to seek help. Through this journey, I have learned to embrace my unique wiring and to see it as a part of God’s perfect design for me.
Even in those moments of darkness, I know I never walked alone. God was with me, guiding me through the shadows and providing me the strength to continue.
I have seen God’s provision in countless ways. He placed people in my life who have supported and encouraged me, providing a community that reflects his love. He gives me the wisdom and courage to navigate my mental health journey and the patience to understand myself better. Most importantly, he has drawn me closer to him, teaching me to rely on his strength and grace. I am healing in ways I never thought possible.
I have also been blessed in my role as the office administrator at Waterloo-Kitchener United Mennonite. This position has been a source of immense personal and intellectual growth. I’ve learned to balance creativity and structure. It’s been fulfilling to serve in a way that contributes to my church community. This opportunity has given me a new sense of purpose and belonging.
Katria Ezekiel baptism in 2024. Photo: Supplied
Our pastor, Wanda Roth Amstutz, has been a beacon of wisdom and encouragement in my life. Her leadership and mentorship have shaped my professional journey but also my faith and personal development.
Our church chair, John Enns, has been like a “professional opa [grandpa],” offering steady support and kindness that reflects the heart of our church community. I’ve returned to my studies after taking a semester off to heal. This monumental step is a reminder of how far I’ve come. I am exploring the possibility of pursuing a master’s degree in Peace and Conflict Studies or attending law school. This aligns with my passion for creating understanding and promoting harmony in the world, which I see as deeply rooted in God’s calling for me.
These experiences have not only reaffirmed my faith but have also shown me how God works in quiet and transformative ways.
Since the first time I read it as a child, the poem Footprints in the Sand has always made me cry, touched by the idea that I am never alone, that God is always with me. It reminds me of Psalm 23:4, which says, “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
I’ve come to confront my issues around religion. I truly believe that God is not hateful, unkind, vengeful or anything but the true example of unconditional love, kindness, compassion and understanding. People can be hateful; God is not. People can manipulate God’s words and teachings, whether intentionally or not.
God calls us to love each other always and unconditionally, and to be the kindest and best versions of ourselves.
When I was baptized last spring, I made a vow to stand with God and to promote and uphold all the good values God has taught and exemplified in Jesus. I want to make the world a better place for everyone and everything in it, and I will do it as God walks with me and if needed, carries me.
God has been my constant companion, my refuge, and my source of peace whether I recognized it or not. He has turned my struggles into opportunities for growth and has shown me that his plans are always good. I am grateful for his presence in my life and for the journey he is leading me on. He has kept me safe, loved me unconditionally and listened to me. He has responded to my every need and ask, often in ways I only understand later when I look back.
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