Leading with care

Two leaders share experiences



In the 15 years he was the executive director of Community Justice Initiatives (CJI) in Kitchener, Ontario, Chris Cowie felt it was important to lead the organization with the same relational and restorative justice principles CJI uses with clients.

Doug Klassen, executive minister of Mennonite Church Canada, describes a similar model of operating. “We have resolved to start with relationships—relationships first. This has been MC Canada historically, and it is again now.”

Klassen learned principles of relational leadership as a younger person. “Years ago, I was taught the value of ‘building’ a decision rather than ‘making’ a decision. The former seems to have a more stable foundation and gets better buy-in for whatever has to happen.”

Cowie also learned lessons about relational leadership early in his career, by contrast with what he had experienced. “I had been led by somebody I did not want to imitate.” That person said a leader could not have friendships with employees because that gets in the way of authority. “I knew that was bunk,” Cowie says.

This does not mean abdicating responsibility. “As the chief leader, I’m responsible for making sure the organization runs properly, and I had to commit [to myself] that I was always going to make those difficult decisions… [but] I was not going to be afraid of developing what feels like real friendships in the workplace.”

Klassen says a relational approach “invites trust, so that you can dream together in confidence, and you can discern together, especially when you have to discuss things like shrinking budgets.”

As Klassen suggests, this approach is particularly helpful when dealing with situations where relationships need restoration.

Klassen tells a story that illustrates the value of this approach. “When I began my role in the summer of 2019, I was made aware that Africa Inter-Mennonite Mission (AIMM) … was open to the possibility of MC Canada returning to the table, even though we walked away from it in our 2017 restructuring. Sure enough, when I went to the Partnership Council meetings in Orodara, Burkina Faso, my apology was welcomed, forgiveness was extended and MC Canada was back at the table.“

The challenge for Klassen came when he recognized that “re-engaging here with integrity was more than I could manage.” Not wanting to attempt to do this “off the side of my desk” and thus risk the fragile trust, he decided instead to deliberately set up a sustainable relationship on behalf of MC Canada.

Klassen wrote down a list of people he could see carrying that relationship for MC Canada. He then took the list to the African elders and other long-term leaders in the Partnership Council, requesting their input on who could do that work. All the leaders chose the same person. A few weeks later, Klassen sat with that person—Tany Warkentin—in her home near Pincher Creek, Alberta. After explaining the process, Klassen asked, “Would you answer the call of the church?” She agreed. Klassen says, “Tany has played such an important role in AIMM and the partnership council.”

CJI is not an explicitly faith-based organization, but Cowie says, “You don’t have to be an arm of the church to take a relational approach to your employees. To say that there’s conflict between professionalism and having a workplace with those [relational] elements, that’s not true.” Cowie, who attends Stirling Mennonite in Kitchener, Ontario, says, “The issue I’ve observed in Mennonite culture, and more broadly, is a tendency towards risk aversion and a reluctance to engage in conflict resolution due to discomfort…. What might appear as peace is often merely a ceasefire, lacking genuine harmony.”

Cowie, whose organization pioneered the restorative justice approach for victims and offenders in the criminal justice system, incorporated a restorative approach to how he worked with his staff in disciplinary matters.

When a CJI employee was lying on expense forms—which is cause for dismissal—instead of simply firing the employee, Cowie met with the individual, describing the impact of their actions on the organization and their colleagues, and inviting the employee to think of a restorative approach. Only after the person did nothing over the next month did Cowie end up letting the person go.

But he has no regrets about this approach, noting that most of the time, employees do come up with a plan. “That builds grace into the whole organization. We are the kind of people who can reintegrate, and those situations have worked out well.”

One of the reasons Cowie left the leadership role was that this approach requires substantial energy. “That doesn’t mean it’s the wrong approach,” he says. Despite the added effort of a relational approach, Cowie advises: “Don’t become more distant, or you’ll end up with the same kind of culture as everywhere else, and no one wants to work there.”

While recognizing the need for solid policy, Cowie says it’s essential for leaders to build relationships and engage in complex human resources situations. “It’s been easier to say, ‘This is the policy, and this is what’s going to happen.’ When I look at how sexual harm has been addressed in churches, it’s always the quest for the perfect policy rather than saying, ‘Look, this is a relational thing.’ … [But] there are [fewer] people willing to get into the messiness of things, talking and making amends and addressing people’s behaviours, rather than ‘Who do we get rid of?’”

As for why the elders chose Tany Warkentin, Klassen says it comes back to a relational approach. “When I asked them, ‘Why did you pick her?’ they replied, ‘Because when Tany and (her late husband) Jeff lived here, they lived as one of us.’”



Leave a Reply