Hugo and Doreen Neufeld, 84 and 88 respectively, co-directed the Welcome Inn Community Centre in Hamilton before they were both ordained. Doreen was one of the first ordained Mennonite women in Canada. They are now deacons at Trinity Mennonite Church in Calgary.
What is your earliest memory of church?
Doreen: I remember being about three or four years old and being dropped off at our school in Manitoba for Sunday school. There were fun evening programs where large families would sing, and the kids would recite a poem.
Hugo: My earliest memories are around stories. We lived on a fruit farm in Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario. The whole family would be picking fruit, and someone would say, “Dad, tell us a story.” My father was quite a storyteller. He would tell a story while we picked. I remember him telling about how the Israelites fled out of Egypt, their liberation. That’s etched in my mind.
What is your best memory of church?
Doreen: Singing in the choir. Sometimes my mind wandered, and I didn’t hear the sermon well, but a song would bring me back to the message. Then, at the Welcome Inn, a church developed. Those people had deeply spiritual experiences, but most did not attend church, feeling uncomfortable, the way people looked at them. We asked: what would church look like if you were to plan it? It started slowly and became an exciting experience with people who felt this was their church.
Hugo: My favourite memories are at the Welcome Inn, where people began exploring the Bible for the first time. We learned we all have something to give and the importance of being created in God’s image. God had been there before we were.
What is your most difficult memory of church?
Hugo: I remember thinking abuse by leaders didn’t happen in the church, only to realize it did.
Doreen: When the charismatic movement began, I thought, this can’t be wrong, it’s biblical. Then it began to divide our church.
Tell us about the people who have influenced you the most.
Doreen: Our lead pastor wasn’t the most powerful preacher, but the sincerity of his life and his caring were important to me. Another pastor had a way of connecting with the young people, bringing ideas to our level. A third pastor preached sermons that had depth—I listened to them, which was unique for me.
Hugo: My parents were very influential, as was Walter Wangerin, who wrote The Ragman. He was a pastor who related to those who lived below the poverty line, picking out their gifts.
Can you share favourite book, passage, poem or song?
Hugo: Don Kraybill’s The Upside-Down Kingdom. The title says it all. The other is a book called Schools Without Failure by William Glasser.
Doreen: I love the majesty of the song, “O Have You Not Heard of that Beautiful Stream.” The song “Everything is Beautiful in its Own Way” helped me see the beauty in people and things I would previously have classified on the wrong side of beauty.
What do young people not understand about old age?
Doreen: I’ve often said that young people don’t know what old age is like because they’ve never been there, but old people have no excuse; they ought to understand young people because they have all been young. I certainly didn’t understand that old people could be just as fun-loving and frisky and energetic.
Hugo: Young people understand us pretty well.
What is the hardest thing about getting older?
Hugo: Finally realizing you can’t do everything you used to. I can’t fix a plumbing fixture like I used to. I can still do it, but not as well, and it takes a lot of time.
Doreen: I developed age-related macular degeneration and have hearing issues. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t go to meetings [if I can’t hear well], but then I miss the connection, so it’s weighing the balance. The other thing is that you lose friends and family.
What is best?
Doreen: One of the beauties of old age is learning to appreciate those from a broader age range, recognizing everyone has something to offer.
Hugo: I get excited when I can say, “Hey, I can still relate to a young adult!” I also enjoy reflecting along the whole lifespan. And we’re not quite as tied to committees now.
What do you wish someone had told you about getting older?
Doreen: That you’re just as interested in life when you’re older as when you’re younger, unless you’re ill. I was floored when my mom turned80, and she was still acting kind of normal.
Hugo: My mom lived to 94. She told me that getting old isn’t easy. I didn’t really listen to her. Now I see what she meant.
If you had one chance at a sermon, what would it be about?
Doreen: Unity in Christ. We tend to think we’re a bit better than other denominations, but we will all be present around the throne of God.
Hugo: Truth-telling—discerning what is of God and how to do this in a life-giving way.
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