Readers write: June 4, 2018 issue

30 May 2018|Viewpoints|Volume 22 Issue 12

It’s not easy being single in the church

There were never many girls my age at the Mennonite church in Scarborough, Ont., prior to my adolescent years, nor did my becoming a teenager make much difference.

There were many personable Upper Canada College girls at the high school I attended. But Mom said, “No!” They were not “Deetch.”

By the time I reached the age of 20, the young peoples group had been gutted by marriage. With whom was I to chat, let alone date?

Married couples rarely invited me to their homes. One of the reasons seemed to be that the women considered me to be a woman hater, if not worse. Eventually, I got into various kinds of shiftwork; this had the effect of killing most of my social life.

As a retired security officer who never married, I look into my past and then into my future:

• I did not know the love of a good woman, nor did I have the challenge and joy of bringing up children to maturity. There was so much that I missed by not being able to marry.

• These days, because of the squabbling between pro- and anti-homosexual contingents within Mennonite Church Canada, I, and other singles, are tacitly pushed to the sidelines.

• Although I will likely pass on some time after my brother and sister have drawn their last breaths, some of my nieces and nephews will be at my bedside.

• Contrary to what some married cronies may think, I have not been without joys in my life. During the last five years, I have had the privilege of speaking to others about Jesus.

To the married, continue to love and care for each as long as you are able. As for me, I will be ready for glory because I inadvertently remained single. So there!
—Hans Sawatzky, Winnipeg
The author is a member of North Kildonan Mennonite Church in Winnipeg.

.tb-gallery ul{list-style:none;margin:0 0 1.5em 0;padding:0}.tb-gallery__cell{margin:0 !important;position:relative}.tb-gallery--grid{display:grid;grid-auto-rows:auto !important}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) .tb-brick__content{height:100%;position:absolute;top:0}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) .tb-gallery__cell{grid-row-end:unset !important;position:relative}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) .tb-gallery__cell::before{content:"";display:inline-block;padding-bottom:100%}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) .tb-gallery__cell::marker{content:""}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) img{width:100%;height:100%;-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover}.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop img{height:auto !important;width:auto !important}.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop .tb-gallery__cell{align-self:end}.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop .tb-brick__content{height:100%}.tb-gallery--collage{display:grid;grid-template-columns:repeat(12, 1fr)}.tb-gallery--collage .tb-brick__content{height:100%}.tb-gallery--collage img{height:100% !important}.tb-gallery--masonry{display:grid;grid-row-gap:0;grid-auto-rows:1px;opacity:0}.tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content{position:relative}.tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content img,.tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content iframe,.tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content video{-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover;width:100% !important;display:block}.tb-gallery__caption{position:absolute;bottom:0;width:100%;background:rgba(255,255,255,0.6);padding:5px 2px;text-align:center;color:#333}.tb-gallery__caption:empty{background:transparent !important}.tb-gallery .tb-brick__content figure{height:100%}.tb-gallery img{width:100%;height:100%;-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover;vertical-align:bottom}#left-area ul.tb-gallery{list-style-type:none;padding:0} .tb-gallery[data-toolset-blocks-gallery="3eeed3bb862d46bb98837254faefda76"] { margin-top: 30px; } .tb-gallery[data-toolset-blocks-gallery="3eeed3bb862d46bb98837254faefda76"] .tb-gallery__caption { bottom: 5px; } .tb-gallery[data-toolset-blocks-gallery="3eeed3bb862d46bb98837254faefda76"] .tb-gallery--masonry { grid-template-columns: minmax(0, 1fr) minmax(0, 1fr) minmax(0, 1fr);grid-column-gap: 5px; } .tb-gallery[data-toolset-blocks-gallery="3eeed3bb862d46bb98837254faefda76"] .tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content { padding: 0 0 5px 0; } @media only screen and (max-width: 781px) { .tb-gallery ul{list-style:none;margin:0 0 1.5em 0;padding:0}.tb-gallery__cell{margin:0 !important;position:relative}.tb-gallery--grid{display:grid;grid-auto-rows:auto !important}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) .tb-brick__content{height:100%;position:absolute;top:0}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) .tb-gallery__cell{grid-row-end:unset !important;position:relative}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) .tb-gallery__cell::before{content:"";display:inline-block;padding-bottom:100%}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) .tb-gallery__cell::marker{content:""}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) img{width:100%;height:100%;-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover}.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop img{height:auto !important;width:auto !important}.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop .tb-gallery__cell{align-self:end}.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop .tb-brick__content{height:100%}.tb-gallery--collage{display:grid;grid-template-columns:repeat(12, 1fr)}.tb-gallery--collage .tb-brick__content{height:100%}.tb-gallery--collage img{height:100% !important}.tb-gallery--masonry{display:grid;grid-row-gap:0;grid-auto-rows:1px;opacity:0}.tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content{position:relative}.tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content img,.tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content iframe,.tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content video{-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover;width:100% !important;display:block}.tb-gallery__caption{position:absolute;bottom:0;width:100%;background:rgba(255,255,255,0.6);padding:5px 2px;text-align:center;color:#333}.tb-gallery__caption:empty{background:transparent !important}.tb-gallery .tb-brick__content figure{height:100%}.tb-gallery img{width:100%;height:100%;-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover;vertical-align:bottom}#left-area ul.tb-gallery{list-style-type:none;padding:0} .tb-gallery[data-toolset-blocks-gallery="3eeed3bb862d46bb98837254faefda76"] .tb-gallery__caption { bottom: 5px; } .tb-gallery[data-toolset-blocks-gallery="3eeed3bb862d46bb98837254faefda76"] .tb-gallery--masonry { grid-template-columns: minmax(0, 1fr) minmax(0, 1fr) minmax(0, 1fr);grid-column-gap: 5px; } .tb-gallery[data-toolset-blocks-gallery="3eeed3bb862d46bb98837254faefda76"] .tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content { padding: 0 0 5px 0; }  } @media only screen and (max-width: 599px) { .tb-gallery ul{list-style:none;margin:0 0 1.5em 0;padding:0}.tb-gallery__cell{margin:0 !important;position:relative}.tb-gallery--grid{display:grid;grid-auto-rows:auto !important}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) .tb-brick__content{height:100%;position:absolute;top:0}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) .tb-gallery__cell{grid-row-end:unset !important;position:relative}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) .tb-gallery__cell::before{content:"";display:inline-block;padding-bottom:100%}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) .tb-gallery__cell::marker{content:""}.tb-gallery--grid:not(.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop) img{width:100%;height:100%;-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover}.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop img{height:auto !important;width:auto !important}.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop .tb-gallery__cell{align-self:end}.tb-gallery--grid--nocrop .tb-brick__content{height:100%}.tb-gallery--collage{display:grid;grid-template-columns:repeat(12, 1fr)}.tb-gallery--collage .tb-brick__content{height:100%}.tb-gallery--collage img{height:100% !important}.tb-gallery--masonry{display:grid;grid-row-gap:0;grid-auto-rows:1px;opacity:0}.tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content{position:relative}.tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content img,.tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content iframe,.tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content video{-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover;width:100% !important;display:block}.tb-gallery__caption{position:absolute;bottom:0;width:100%;background:rgba(255,255,255,0.6);padding:5px 2px;text-align:center;color:#333}.tb-gallery__caption:empty{background:transparent !important}.tb-gallery .tb-brick__content figure{height:100%}.tb-gallery img{width:100%;height:100%;-o-object-fit:cover;object-fit:cover;vertical-align:bottom}#left-area ul.tb-gallery{list-style-type:none;padding:0} .tb-gallery[data-toolset-blocks-gallery="3eeed3bb862d46bb98837254faefda76"] .tb-gallery__caption { bottom: 5px; } .tb-gallery[data-toolset-blocks-gallery="3eeed3bb862d46bb98837254faefda76"] .tb-gallery--masonry { grid-template-columns: minmax(0, 1fr) minmax(0, 1fr) minmax(0, 1fr);grid-column-gap: 5px; } .tb-gallery[data-toolset-blocks-gallery="3eeed3bb862d46bb98837254faefda76"] .tb-gallery--masonry .tb-brick__content { padding: 0 0 5px 0; }  } 