Let your words be few

For a person who barely talks, Sidney Martin speaks volumes with his presence. As the Bible says, “Do not be rash with your mouth … let your words be few” (Ecclesiastes 5:2).

Sidney’s ability to communicate with others comes across clearly, whether it is with a high five while sitting at coffee time after the service at Tavistock Mennonite or by simply smiling with his big brown eyes lit up.

These responses demonstrate that he probably comprehends what is going on and that he is likely following the conversation around him.

His gestures speak of welcome and hospitality. Although church life has always been an important part of Sidney’s life, it has taken time for him to develop the ability to interact so positively with others in the church.

When Sidney was a baby, he had convulsions which resulted in brain damage. At that time, and for the first three years of his life, Sidney and his family attended an Old Order Mennonite church close to St. Jacobs, Ontario.

Sitting quietly during the service was a challenge for young Sidney, and some children appeared afraid of him. As a result, his parents did not take him to Sunday school. But he always made a connection to church music and was quick to catch on and hum hymns like “There Is A Happy Land Far Far Away.”

Later, the family moved and attended a conservative Mennonite church in Heidelberg, Ontario, a small community northwest of Kitchener. The family came up with strategies that helped Sidney settle so that he could go to church. During the service, a family member would bring Sidney downstairs, where he would play. His sister Leah admits, “Although we sometimes worried about what other people would think, we also just loved him.”

The family showed love by treating Sidney like any other boy, modeling acceptance to the church and surrounding community.
Sidney was an important part of his family. He participated in family life just like his other siblings. He was responsible for setting the table for mealtime and pulling weeds. Knotting comforters was not one of his required chores but was a good way for him to keep busy. This was important because Sidney had so much energy, and his family found it challenging to keep him occupied.

Because his family was not aware of government services that would provide help and/or respite for his parents, when he was 10 years old, he was sent to the Midwestern Regional Centre. This was one of 19 provincial hospital-like care homes for people with developmental disabilities.

At this time, back in the late 1970s when Sidney moved there, parents were encouraged to take their children to such facilities and forget about them.

Sidney’s parents did not do this. They remained committed to him and would regularly visit him at the Centre, enjoying activities such as jigsaw puzzles. They also took him home for family visits. During one of these visits, his mother was concerned how he would react since they had moved, but when Sidney discovered a familiar couch from their former residence, he was comfortable.

When Sidney moved out of the Midwestern Centre, he moved to a group home of Stratford and Area Community Living. Today, he still lives in a Community Living group home in Stratford. This move was a positive transition for him. It proved to be fruitful in his Christian life, too, because of one of the house managers, who attended Tavistock Mennonite, arranged for staff to take him to church on Sunday mornings. The manager’s uncle and aunt also attended this church, and they paid extra attention to him. Recently, support staff realized that a picture Bible helped him to settle during church.

Sidney became involved in several aspects of church life at Tavistock. For a number of years, Sidney attended family camp at Hidden Acres with support staff. He also enjoys the monthly men’s breakfast, although he is unable to attend sometimes due to staffing and transportation issues.

Sidney’s most recent contribution to church life was his participation in the Christmas program. He presented the star of Bethlehem that pointed the way to the Christ-child. He sat at the front bench, independent of staff, until it was his turn to do his part; then he was prompted to go to the front by the church volunteer and to hold the star high until it was time to sit again.

Sidney’s family connections also continue. He gets together with Leah and other siblings every Monday night. Those present always sing “Jesus Loves Me.” Transportation and staffing are challenges here as well. Regardless, everyone is committed to helping Sidney be part of his family.

God uses Sidney to teach others about God. As a man of few words, what Sidney says is significant. He understands the concepts of God and death. When asked where God is, he points upward, and when asked where his deceased brother, John, is, he answers “heaven.” He is able to communicate his faith with limited words. He continues to sing hymns and choruses: “This Little Light of Mine,” “Jesus Loves Me” and “Amazing Grace” are on his top 5 list.

I had the privilege of meeting with Sidney with Lois Gascho, one of his support workers at the group home where he lives. She also attends Tavistock Mennonite. We ended our time by Sidney and Lois saying the Lord’s Prayer together. It reminded me that if my words and those of others would focus more on these truths and intentions of Jesus, the world would be a better place.

People without a developmental disability tend to make faith more complex than necessary, but Sidney understands more than he is often given credit for.