Archive for the 'Will Loewen' Category

Sing a Joyful Song

There was a church once, and like many other sim­i­lar Men­non­ite churches it was very proud of its music pro­gram.  They orga­nized a spring music fes­ti­val with “Sing a Joy­ful Song” as the theme.  It fea­tured, among other things, Sat­ur­day work­shops in four part singing, con­duct­ing and con­tem­po­rary music inte­gra­tion.  The fes­ti­val was to cul­mi­nate with a Sun­day morn­ing wor­ship ser­vice where choirs would sing, the acoustics of the sanc­tu­ary would finally be showed off and the newly instructed con­gre­ga­tion would then be more equipped than ever to make a joy­ful noise unto the Lord.

The fes­ti­val of course took months to plan and all of the best musi­cal minds of the con­gre­ga­tion assem­bled to make it work.  The most dif­fi­cult deci­sion was over who should be the song leader on that Sun­day morn­ing.  After all, the con­gre­ga­tion would be larger and louder that morn­ing and a new song or two should be intro­duced, so a strong and steady voice was needed.  After some delib­er­a­tion, the com­mit­tee chose Geof­frey a recent uni­ver­sity grad­u­ate with a music degree.  He had a good music pedi­gree, com­ing from a strong musi­cal fam­ily, and he had received voice coach­ing for over ten years.  Some on the com­mit­tee also felt that it was good to high­light his youth­ful pres­ence as a sign that their good musi­cal her­itage was being passed on to a new gen­er­a­tion.  After some prod­ding by his par­ents, Geoff agreed to lead the singing for that morn­ing and started to prac­tice the new songs.

By the time that Sun­day morn­ing arrived, Geoff knew the song flaw­lessly.  He knew the tricky parts and knew exactly what needed to be pointed out to the con­gre­ga­tion to guide them through it.  The night before also, Geoff had been an active par­tic­i­pant in the work­shops and had stayed for the potluck sup­per.  But some­thing, prob­a­bly some under­cooked meat or fish prod­uct, wasn’t sit­ting right with his sys­tem.  When his girl­friend Char­lotte stopped in to pick him up for church, he was planted by the toi­let bowl, clearly in no posi­tion to lead the singing later that morn­ing.  Had he been of sound body, he would have been happy to lead singing.  If he had been of sound mind he prob­a­bly would have thought of a music com­mit­tee approved replace­ment song leader.  Since his thoughts were only on his fail­ing body Char­lotte stepped up and made the deci­sion for him.

She knew the new songs as well or bet­ter than any­one else at the church, she was not afraid of being in front of large groups and there was far too lit­tle time to get any­one else to replace Geoff, so of course she would be the song leader.  She stayed with Geoff long enough to help him clean up a bit and to get some med­i­cine and vital flu­ids acces­si­ble range to him, and then she had to leave.  The phone was already ring­ing when she left his apart­ment, but answer­ing it would make her late for church and Geoff had no energy to pick it up either.  On her way into the sanc­tu­ary of the church Char­lotte was met by more than one per­son want­ing to know where Geoff was.  It was unclear which news was more upset­ting, that he was vio­lently ill, or that Char­lotte would be his replacement.

Peo­ple loved Char­lotte, even peo­ple on the wor­ship com­mit­tee, but music was not her strong point.  Sure she had lead singing before, but only because she had been will­ing while oth­ers had not.  She met up with the pas­tor and wor­ship leader in time to join them on the front pew.  Dur­ing the call to wor­ship and words of greet­ing, there were a few peo­ple ask­ing around if per­haps some­one else could fill in for Geoff, and even though nobody knew the new song some­body was still appointed to replace her.  But before the more pro­fes­sional style song leader could get to Char­lotte, she had already been called up to lead the first hymn and since she was already on the stage, it wasn’t worth the embar­rass­ment of inter­rupt­ing her there.

As the ser­vice pro­gressed, the Wor­ship Com­mit­tee vet­er­ans could only look on in dis­be­lief.  Char­lotte was invit­ing the chil­dren to shake keys and whack hym­nals as per­cus­sion instru­ments, she was rarely in per­fect sync with the pianist, she laughed at her own mis­takes and gig­gled when the con­gre­ga­tion made mis­takes.  Most song lead­ers here would sim­ply stand in silence to revel in the har­monies of a well sung hymn, but Char­lotte vocal­ized her admi­ra­tion.  She had utterly ruined their festival.

Old Mrs. Miller summed up well the thoughts of the entire com­mit­tee when she said, “How were we sup­posed to sing with joy with all her car­ry­ing on, noise mak­ing, gig­gling, and laugh­ing?”  The ques­tion remained though in their minds, next year will there still be the work­shops, will they still try to teach new songs, will they be able to sing with joy?

A parable of a speeding ticket

So it turns out that speed­ing tick­ets are very expen­sive in the province of Man­i­toba.  I had been warned before, years before, that speed lim­its are strictly enforced around the city of Stein­bach.  I had observed more than once that peo­ple often drove quite slowly in this part of the coun­try too, but it was all the­o­ret­i­cal until very recently.
It began inno­cently enough as I was dri­ving down the road at a lit­tle over the posted speed limit of 100km/h, no more than 110.  It would hardly be worth a policeman’s energy to give me a ticket for such a minor infrac­tion.  The prob­lem wasn’t with that slight infrac­tion on the open road, the prob­lem began as the speed limit changed.  I approached a town, a small town with nobody around.  I watched for any kind of move­ment from cars or kids but I didn’t see any­thing mov­ing.  As I often do, I saw the new speed limit sign as an indi­ca­tion that I should begin to slow down, not that the new speed limit was already going to be enforced.  I tapped on the brakes, not enough to slow down, just enough to turn off the cruise con­trol.  The car started to slow down, but so grad­u­ally that I prob­a­bly wouldn’t have got­ten any­where close to 50 until I was already back in the 100 zone.  Then I put on the brakes a lit­tle more, partly to get closer to the limit and partly because the dri­ver in the car in front of me was adher­ing closer to the law than I was.  At this point I looked up in rear-view mir­ror and saw the flash­ing red and blue lights of Uncle Corny (if I can bor­row a Low Ger­man euphemism).
I duti­fully pulled over so that he could quickly pass me and con­tinue chas­ing some dis­tant crim­i­nal, but to my dis­may he pulled in behind me and we both pulled to a stop.  The friendly police offi­cer informed me of the two speeds he clocked me at, and said he would gra­ciously charge me for the lesser of the two.  See­ing I was from out of province, he showed me the table of charges for the var­i­ous speed­ing infrac­tions.  After he gave me the ticket, he advised me that if not for safety, I should drive slower because it is too expen­sive oth­er­wise.  Feel­ing con­victed over the whole ordeal, I resolved to drive slower.  My new behav­iour would not come solely from a legal­is­tic fear of pun­ish­ment and I had not sud­denly dis­cov­ered a new ver­sion of safety I could adhere to.  Instead I would drive slower trust­ing that the lim­its in place had been designed for my safety, rec­og­niz­ing that my own sense of safety was not absolute, and admit­ting that I was not so impor­tant that I had to break the law to arrive some­where at a cer­tain time.
When I told oth­ers about the fine I was sup­posed to pay, every­one was quite sym­pa­thetic, that is, except for the one with whom I have a shared bank account.  Other peo­ple agreed the gov­ern­ment had raised the fines too much to fill their own bud­get gaps.  Other peo­ple acknowl­edged that there must be some kind of quota sys­tem, and I must have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.  The trou­ble is that I didn’t need to answer to any of them, and to the one I am finan­cially account­able to my own new­found con­vic­tions weren’t good enough.  I needed to out­line the finan­cial sac­ri­fices that would make the pay­ment pos­si­ble, I needed to acknowl­edge I was at fault (not merely some vic­tim of chance), and I needed to demon­strate that I would now be a more respon­si­ble driver.
Those oth­ers who were sym­pa­thetic to my suf­fer­ing turned out not be to sym­pa­thetic to my new way of dri­ving.  Dri­ving those roads before, I thought I was the only one who sped, but after I started to drive slower, I real­ized there were many oth­ers out there who lived like used to.  They would drive too close behind me, pass me aggres­sively and give me angry looks as they went by.  I couldn’t really begrudge them for it.  It still felt unnat­ural for me to slow down to 50 in every one horse town.  It was only a lit­tle ear­lier that same day I would have been dri­ving the same way as the peo­ple were leav­ing me in their dust.
The ques­tion remains if now, as time passes from the inci­dent, will I let the pres­sure of oth­ers sway me from my con­vic­tions?  Will I grad­u­ally return to my for­mer ways as the sting of that ini­tial pun­ish­ment drifts from my mem­ory?  Most peo­ple seem con­vinced that will be the case, but I am hold­ing out hope.

Book Review: A Year of Living Biblically

There’s a new genre of book out these days that fol­lows the writer on a one year jour­ney of some sort.  A young woman named Julie Pow­ell set out to pre­pare every dish in Julia Child’s Mas­ter­ing the Art of French Cook­ing she also blogged about her reflec­tions. That blog lead to a book con­tract, and after the screen writer cleaned out some of the swear­ing that book became an award win­ning movie.

This year instead of mak­ing a New Years Res­o­lu­tion I real­ized in the mid­dle of Feb­ru­ary that I hadn’t yet eaten at McDon­alds, so I decided to see if I could last the whole year.  A few months later and I’m still going strong.  If I were to keep a run­ning diary of my McDon­alds free year it prob­a­bly wouldn’t be all that excit­ing espe­cially since I’m now real­iz­ing how easy it is to do so.

April 22nd — I was doing errands by myself at lunch today.  Even though nobody would have known had I gone to McDon­alds for lunch today, the thought didn’t even cross my mind.

April 28th — I drove through my old home­town today and saw the McDon­alds I went to all the time in high­school.  I thought about going in for old times sake, and then I thought maybe I shouldn’t.  While I hummed and hawed about it, I saw a con­struc­tion crew work­ing on some hydro wires and for­got all about my fast-food conundrum.

So I would prob­a­bly need a bet­ter idea.  There are some less than great ideas out there of this genre.  A.J. Jacobs’ first book of this genre, The Know-It-All: One Man’s Hum­ble Quest to Become the Smartest Per­son in the World fol­lowed his one year task of read­ing through all forty-four mil­lion words of the Ency­clopæ­dia Bri­tan­nica.  That title sounded a lit­tle dull, even for a trivia nerd like me.  His sec­ond book sounded much more inter­est­ing, A Year of Liv­ing Bib­li­cally: One Man’s Hum­ble Quest to Fol­low the Bible as Lit­er­ally as Pos­si­ble, so I picked up a copy.

You can prob­a­bly guess the writer’s under­ly­ing the­ory, that fol­low­ing every Bib­li­cal law is impos­si­ble and any­one who says they do is a hyp­ocrite.  Jacobs states that premise in the begin­ning of the book and reminds us of it a few more times.  I expected to find cyn­i­cal reports of var­i­ous reli­gious groups and the odd nugget of spir­i­tual insight.  After all, Jacobs is a sec­u­lar Jew, or he is Jew­ish, he writes, “like Olive Gar­den is an Ital­ian restaurant.”

He vis­its with a few groups I appre­ci­ate such as the Amish and the Red Let­ter Chris­tians and gives them a favourable review, but one of his most pro­found spir­i­tual encoun­ters is with snake han­dling Chris­tians in Ten­nessee and a new friend he makes is a Jew­ish man who makes a liv­ing assess­ing the threads of people’s clothes to assure they are not wear­ing clothes woven of two fibers.  There are times when he presents a few extreme Chris­t­ian groups and then presents a mod­er­ate Jew­ish teach­ing, but over­all he gives a sur­pris­ingly fair treat­ment of all groups.

Jacobs faces the great­est dif­fi­culty in his inter­ac­tions with his wife.  The Old Tes­ta­ment includes a num­ber of laws regard­ing clean­li­ness, notably that men­stru­at­ing women are unclean and should not be touched.

Day 34. In case you were won­der­ing, Julie got her period yes­ter­day — which is bad news in two senses.  First, it means that our attempt to be fruit­ful and mul­ti­ply has failed yet again.  Sec­ond, it ratch­ets up the bib­li­cal liv­ing to a whole new level of awkwardness.

This was a reminder of how some­thing that is merely an incon­ve­nience for women today had pro­found social and reli­gious impli­ca­tions in Bib­li­cal times, an insight that adds mean­ing to the sto­ries of some of Jesus female ances­tors.  This also meant that Jew­ish men in that era would often touch­ing women at all since there was always a chance that they could be unclean.  Since Jacobs already likes an abnor­mally high amount of per­sonal space he is happy to use this as an excuse to keep his dis­tance, but when he explained why he wouldn’t shake hands with them, a sur­pris­ing num­ber of women offered up that infor­ma­tion freely, some even emailed spread­sheets with timeta­bles for his benefit.

Over­all, his opin­ions don’t change all that much.  While he learns to respect the reli­gious devo­tion of the peo­ple he meets, like any good Jew or Chris­t­ian, he can eas­ily point out the incon­sis­ten­cies in their beliefs.  He learns of a num­ber of ben­e­fits of rigid law-keeping, even if it’s illog­i­cal.  He writes with skep­ti­cal humour and self-deprecation with­out being too cyn­i­cal.  This is nei­ther a the­o­log­i­cal dis­course nor an irrev­er­ent attack.  My wife and I both found it to be a worth­while read.

Me, My, Mo, Menno

I’ve noticed a string of let­ters to the edi­tor in the print ver­sion of the CM, and even a pod­cast let­ter from the edi­tor from our US equiv­a­lent with the same sub­ject.  It seems we just can’t get enough of this Men­non­ite iden­tity con­ver­sa­tion, espe­cially when it comes to eth­nic­ity and reli­gion.  I wanted to write a post that would approach it with the appro­pri­ate level of wis­dom and sug­gest that we should just all work through it given our cur­rent sit­u­a­tion.  It’s a lot like when I was young and my mom would make a big batch of cook­ies only to put them in the freezer (mostly to keep them safe from her cookie lov­ing kids).  I would sneak into the pantry to get some when nobody was look­ing and not only were they frozen solid but I was too short to reach to the bot­tom of the deep freeze.  So with my legs dan­gling over the edge on the out­side and my arms rest­ing against the mounds of frozen con­den­sa­tion on the inside, I employed enough out­side the box think­ing to ensure that I didn’t end up in the “box” and to ensure that I could actu­ally get the cook­ies and then cor­rectly reseal the old mar­garine con­tainer.  I would then have to wait for the cookie(s) to thaw before I could enjoy them, much like any real solu­tion will take a long time to see the ben­e­fits.  So here we go.

It seems to me that the prob­lem is only partly about atti­tudes, but almost entirely about names, par­tic­u­larly that we usu­ally use the same name for a cul­tural group and for a reli­gious group which often include a non-overlapping group of people.

I have heard some say that we should use Anabap­tist to refer to the reli­gious group and Low German/Swiss Ger­man when refer­ring to the cul­tural group, but I think we some­times hold the word ‘Anabap­tist’ too high.

First of all, it was not a name that “we” chose.  In fact, the first peo­ple to be called that, even though they had tech­ni­cally been bap­tized twice, rejected the name, because they rejected their ini­tial bap­tism and didn’t see them­selves as rebap­tiz­ers.  Sec­ond, it was also used for a more rad­i­cal group that set up an Anabap­tist king­dom, a theoc­racy really, where they waited for the rap­ture, killed or expelled all who dis­agreed, insti­tuted polygamy, and the list goes on.  For a mod­ern com­par­i­son, it would be like the Waco Siege of ’93 had hap­pened in the whole city of St. Louis, and the media had insisted on using the more gen­eral term of Seventh-Day Adven­tists rather than the spe­cific group title of Branch David­i­ans.  This would make it tough for SDAs to go about busi­ness as usual, and they would prob­a­bly change their names.  So the Mun­sterites besmirched the Anabap­tist name (which was never pop­u­lar to begin with) to the point where the peace­ful Anabap­tists in other places were eager to adopt a new name.  Around that time peo­ple had started using “Mennists/Mennonites”, refer­ring to Menno Simons, so it was adopted by many to avoid con­fu­sion with the head­line grab­bing Mun­sterites.  While it was con­ve­nient to do so, nobody asked Menno if he liked the idea, and I’m sure he wouldn’t have liked it if they had.  We don’t wor­ship Menno or swear by his per­sonal the­ol­ogy, we sim­ply adhere to the belief sys­tem that he joined and existed before he came along.

Look­ing at our cur­rent sit­u­a­tion, the name Men­non­ite, while it does help to sell fur­ni­ture, car­ries a lot of cul­tural bag­gage that can inter­fere with being missional/evangelizing/spreading the good news/etc.  I’m cer­tainly not the first to sug­gest chang­ing the name, but the ques­tion is what should we change it to?  We’re already pretty sim­i­lar with the Brethren in Christ, so we could con­sider a merger, but their name has a few prob­lems of its own.  Unfor­tu­nately the Eng­lish lan­guage doesn’t have a good gen­der neu­tral and mod­ern sound­ing equiv­a­lent of brethren, so even if we could swal­low our col­lec­tive pride, that option is out of the ques­tion.  There are other names used by our sib­lings in other coun­tries such as the Meserete Kris­tos (“Christ is the foun­da­tion”) church in Ethiopia and the Doops­gezin­den (“Bap­tism minded”) in the Nether­lands.  So what we need to do, per­haps at the next Men­non­ite World Con­fer­ence gath­er­ing, is gather some of the great­est Men­non­ites from around the world in order to come up with a new name for our­selves.  The Quak­ers became the Soci­ety of Friends and per­haps we should fol­low their lead.  All we need is a sim­ple list of rules, and leave them alone for a few days and they can send up white smoke when they’ve got a name.  A sim­ple list of rules can guide them; no exist­ing names can be in the run­ning, it must be modern/timeless sound­ing, gen­der neu­tral, language/culture/nation neu­tral, etc.

The other prob­lem is that peo­ple with “Men­non­ite names” often demon­strate an unhealthy amount of pride in their iden­tity as Men­non­ites and are too quick to exclude oth­ers from the fold.  This is an odd sit­u­a­tion for me, since I grew up as a Men­non­ite immi­grant, and we saw very lit­tle rea­son to be proud to be Men­non­ite.  How­ever, there is a very prac­ti­cal solu­tion to this gen­eral prob­lem that nobody is con­sid­er­ing.  Some sort of cen­tral Men­non­ite body should come up with a new list of fam­ily names, and when a per­son joins a Men­non­ite church, they will be assigned a new Men­non­ite name.  It is com­mon to read about peo­ple in days gone by talk­ing about their reg­u­lar name and their Christian/Catholic name, given to them upon bap­tism.  Sikhs also use the sur­names Singh and Kaur in a sim­i­lar man­ner.  Our cur­rent list of what many con­sider to be Men­non­ite names have a num­ber of weak­nesses (ie. they are mostly ger­manic sound­ing, and keep­ing them wouldn’t really resolve the issue) so we’d need to cre­ate new ones.  I sug­gest we take the seven points of Schlei­theim Con­fes­sion and, using what­ever lan­guage is native locally, make a one word last name.  Some of them may be a bit odd, but we would just use them in church cir­cles, not sew them on hockey jer­seys.  The eng­lish ver­sions could work out to be Bap­tismupon­con­fes­sion, Ban­ner, Memo­ri­alob­server, Non­re­sis­tor, Shep­herd­elec­tor, Sword­de­nier, Oath­non­swearer and so on.

So these two pieces should solve the over­all prob­lem.  Of course we could just accept that our pri­mary iden­tity is as fol­low­ers of Jesus.  We could accept that our Mennonite/Anabaptist dis­tinc­tives are rel­a­tively minor in the grand scheme of things.  We could do that, but this name change idea sounds like more fun.

Bobby Or

A long time ago, a strug­gling Team Canada turned to Bobby Orr to guide them to inter­na­tional glory. In those days his knees were so bad that hey were wrapped in ice more often than they weren’t. Today, if a pro ath­lete had knees like his, they would get arthro­scopic surgery in the off-season, and he’d be good as new when the puck dropped again in the fall. Even though Bobby’s sup­port­ing cast was weak, and their oppo­si­tion was strong, he put them on his shoul­ders and car­ried them to victory.

These days another fledg­ling squad has called on #4 to give them a boost. Mr. Orr can now be reg­u­larly seen on Chevro­let com­mer­cials endors­ing their most recent line of auto­mo­biles. It’s no secret that Gen­eral Motors is in trou­ble; their vehi­cles seem to be falling behind their com­pe­ti­tion in terms of per­for­mance and effi­ciency stan­dards, and finan­cially, they’ve been in the red so deep for so long that they needed mas­sive gov­ern­ment bailouts just to stay afloat. The for­mer defense­man even made ref­er­ence to this in the com­mer­cial when he asserts that “They are def­i­nitely back in the game.” Is GM admit­ting that for a cer­tain amount of time that they were out of the game? It seems to be an unchar­ac­ter­is­tic show of weakness.

But before he makes this bold asser­tion, Bobby quoted some­thing else that I was much more inter­ested in. It looked as though he was refer­ring to a new vehi­cle pro­duc­tion mantra: “Build them the best, or don’t build them at all.” I won­der if that’s just a catchy one-liner that their mar­ket­ing depart­ment came up with or if it is some­thing they are directly hear­ing from their cus­tomers. It seems to me that even if GM con­sis­tently tests lower than their major com­pe­ti­tion in per­for­mance and effi­ciency, they will con­tinue to make auto­mo­biles, no mat­ter how prin­ci­pled their man­age­ment is. How­ever, rank­ings aside, if sales num­bers don’t pick up in time to sta­bi­lize their long­time finan­cial pic­ture, they will be forced to shut down pro­duc­tion and this mantra will become true in a whole dif­fer­ent way than they were intend­ing.
This mantra could eas­ily be mis­taken as a mis­sion state­ment, but the inclu­sion of the word “or” (and the implied “or else”) makes it par­tic­u­larly inter­est­ing. I’ve seen a tonne of mis­sion state­ments of churches and var­i­ous Chris­t­ian char­i­ties and I can’t remem­ber any that included this kind of “or else” con­clu­sion, but it does present some inter­est­ing possibilities.

Con­sider the Chris­t­ian Peace­maker Teams. They owe much of their found­ing to an “or else” kind of speech by Ron Sider. Could they use some of those same words to form a mis­sion statement?

Ready to die devel­op­ing new non­vi­o­lent attempts to reduce inter­na­tional con­flict, or else we never really meant the cross was an alter­na­tive to the sword.”

Men­non­ite Church Canada’s mantra is also void of any “or else”‘s. I think the mean­ing becomes a lit­tle more urgent if we add some, even if the or else that I add is already implied.

Form­ing a peo­ple of God … or else when we gather we’ll think we’ve already arrived.
Becom­ing a global church … or else we’ll assume ours is the only way to do things and we’ll for­get that Jesus came for the whole world, not just us.
Grow­ing lead­ers … or else the busi­ness of doing church will scare off any­one who might oth­er­wise want to lead.”

It’s maybe a bit wordy, but I think it leaves a nice touch.

What about indi­vid­ual con­gre­ga­tions though? They have their own mis­sion state­ments too, some­times dis­played as promi­nently as any scrip­ture verse. But if we add an or else to those state­ments, what tone should it take? We could take a prac­ti­cal slant and say “or else peo­ple will stop com­ing” or “or else our funds will dry up”. It might also be appro­pri­ate to take a spir­i­tual slant and say “or else we aren’t pay­ing close enough atten­tion to our pas­tor” or “or else the Spirit isn’t in us”. Or how about some­thing that com­bines them both?

Liv­ing out our faith and bring­ing good news to our neigh­bours, here and around the world …
or else we have no right to gather as a church and should board up our doors and walk away.”

That might take up too many of those move­able let­ters on church signs though.

Don’t ya just hate that guy?

I’m not really that artic­u­late in per­son.  I man­age to fool a lot of peo­ple because usu­ally when they are lis­ten­ing the most atten­tively, I’ve had a chance to write things down ahead of time.  I nor­mally only make sense when I’ve first sat down to edit and rearrange my oth­er­wise gar­bled thoughts.

I was worse as a teenager, more so in the pres­ence of pretty girls. When I wanted to be clever, I sounded weird.  What I wanted to be charm­ing, I was just awk­ward.  Then, as if I wasn’t doing a good enough job mak­ing myself look bad, when we would gather as a group of friends to watch movies, the guys on the screen, who were already sig­nif­i­cantly bet­ter look­ing than me, deliv­ered lines that made them sound clever, charm­ing and sensitive.

Now, as an adult I find myself still stum­bling on sim­i­lar inse­cu­ri­ties.  It should come as no sur­prise to you that I am inter­ested in the­ol­ogy and spir­i­tual mat­ters, and I hope to some­how earn at least part of my liv­ing in this field.  So, to sati­ate my inter­est I read books, I lis­ten to radio pro­grams and I attend sem­i­nars, etc.  In part also do this to see what the com­pe­ti­tion is doing.  It can be dis­heart­en­ing to see just how com­posed, con­fi­dent and artic­u­late they are, at least com­pared to me.

As for those roman­tic movies, the older and more mature I get and the more real life I live, the less cred­i­ble they become.  Nat­u­rally they are intended to be mind­less fun and an escape from real­ity, but numer­ous stud­ies show that they do in fact impact our per­cep­tions of what can and should hap­pen with regards to love.  If our expec­ta­tions in this area are affected, even a lit­tle bit, it can seri­ously impact our hap­pi­ness.  For­tu­nately, since that time, most of those girls have real­ized that they didn’t in fact want one of those kinds of guys and have set­tled for real guys.  Unfor­tu­nately, it was right around that time I had actu­ally made some strides towards becom­ing one of those types of guys.

When I see reli­gious pro­fes­sion­als doing well at their jobs, that should push me to become bet­ter myself or to get out of the busi­ness alto­gether.  But there are a few reas­sur­ing points I’ve learned.  When I lis­ten to a radio inter­view, it always sounds like the host is com­ing up with tough ques­tions off the top of her head as the con­ver­sa­tion goes on, and the expert guest is imme­di­ately giv­ing well thought out answers off the top of his head as well.  What isn’t obvi­ous though is that the host, with care­ful study and prepa­ra­tion, writes out those ques­tions weeks in advance and gives them to the guest ahead of time so that he has time to com­pile answers that he is sat­is­fied with.  Then, the two of them act as though their dis­cus­sion is a smooth and free-flowing con­ver­sa­tion, when in fact it is just as scripted as the romance movies I once watched so uncom­fort­ably.  It’s a win-win arrange­ment for them, since they both come out sound­ing artic­u­late and intel­li­gent, and the radio pro­gram is more inter­est­ing as a result.  If they are suc­cess­ful, I will run out to buy the author’s book, and I will con­tinue to lis­ten to the radio program.

Besides my pro­fes­sional inse­cu­ri­ties, lots of peo­ple (lay­folk and clergy alike) strug­gle in a sim­i­lar way with their own spir­i­tual con­vic­tions.  But in the same way that a boy­ish Leonardo di Caprio can alter one’s idea of true romance, a phe­nom­e­non that I call ‘sound bite spir­i­tu­al­ity’ can alter how we feel about our own reli­gious self-understanding.  Peo­ple are drawn to experts and pub­lic fig­ures with short, catchy and sim­ple answers to life’s pro­found spir­i­tual ques­tions.  But these ques­tions are ones that the human race have been strug­gling with since the begin­ning of time.  It’s wrong for the church to claim sole own­er­ship of the answers to these ques­tions but an overly sim­ple answer also insults any­one strug­gling with that ques­tion now, and any­one who’s strug­gled with them in cen­turies past.  What is it about our age that we are sud­denly able to solve these mys­ter­ies?  What was wrong with those who went before us, and why couldn’t they see the answer as clearly as we now do thanks to the old man with the British accent on the stereo?

The Chris­t­ian faith is a jour­ney.  Along that jour­ney it is nat­ural to face both hills and val­leys.  The hard­ships that we face don’t mean that we don’t belong on the jour­ney or that oth­ers are jour­ney­ing bet­ter than us.  We are allowed to strug­gle on our Jesus jour­ney.  Imme­di­ately sim­ple sound­ing solu­tions to our strug­gles should not be met with our shame or frus­tra­tion at not hav­ing been able to see the answer sooner, but rather with sus­pi­cion at why this per­son is speak­ing with such con­fi­dence when so many for so long have struggled.

Flipping the switch

The world in which I grew up was a lit­tle bit Men­non­ite, a lit­tle bit evan­gel­i­cal and a lit­tle bit con­ser­v­a­tive.  As a child it seemed clear to me that the youth and young adults of our com­mu­nity who ques­tioned or dis­re­garded var­i­ous teach­ings were sim­ply rebel­lious by nature and had likely been absorbed in the think­ing of the world.  As a teenager though, some of this started to change.  I started to real­ize a few things; one, that I should at least lis­ten to what these rebels were try­ing to say, and two, in turned out that the church wasn’t pre­pared to lis­ten to me as much as maybe I’d hoped they would.

So on a num­ber of issues, I started doing a fair bit of research.  I thought that if the truth was clear, I should be able to find it on my own.  I approached the var­i­ous sub­jects cau­tiously, per­haps more slowly than my more liberal/progressive friends did but more reck­lessly than my par­ents or child­hood church com­mu­nity might think was prudent.

There was one par­tic­u­lar issue that was espe­cially hard to deal with and it con­tin­ues to have a divi­sive impact on mine and a num­ber of other sim­i­lar reli­gious com­mu­ni­ties.  I’m sure it’s a fairly sim­ple issue for a num­ber of out­siders, but his­tory has shown that this issue hasn’t always been eas­ily resolved every­where else either.

I didn’t really know any­one who lived out this kind of lifestyle, so it was a bit of a the­o­ret­i­cal issue, but a lot of my peers had for­mu­lated opin­ions on whether or not it would be right for some­one to indulge in this kind of lifestyle if they were so inclined.  Those on the “pro” side of the argu­ment said that undoubt­edly peo­ple had been made this way and it was sim­ply a mat­ter of them express­ing them­selves.    Those on the other side insisted that good Chris­tians shouldn’t just give in to their ani­mal instincts and that this kind of activ­ity was almost cer­tainly what the Bible talked about when it men­tions “sex­ual immoral­ity”.  I’ve prob­a­bly spent most of my life on the “anti” side of the argu­ment, but I con­tin­ued con­tem­plat­ing the rela­tional and recre­ational impli­ca­tions of the issue on var­i­ous people’s lives.

Then there came a point where I started to won­der about the long term real­ity of hold­ing my point of view.  Would I ever find a wife that would share this point of view?  Did I have any hope of pass­ing this opin­ion on to my chil­dren?  It was becom­ing clear that the world around me had changed, and it would be much more dif­fi­cult for me to see things this than it was for my parents.

Then, even­tu­ally I decided to make the switch.  Per­haps I had been wrong, and I was ready to see things com­pletely from the other side.  I decided that maybe danc­ing wasn’t so bad after all.

But when I changed my mind, I noticed a few things.  On the pos­i­tive side, it quickly became clear that it did come very nat­u­rally to some peo­ple and that it didn’t nec­es­sar­ily lead to greater sins.  How­ever, there were a few dis­turb­ing rev­e­la­tions as well.  I sud­denly real­ized when I got out onto the dance floor that a the­o­log­i­cal shift wasn’t enough.  The intel­lec­tual change I had under­gone had in no way pre­pared me for the phys­i­cal and social envi­ron­ments I would soon be exposed to.

At first I thought that any dis­com­fort I was feel­ing was from some lin­ger­ing guilt, as though my early edu­ca­tors were still con­trol­ling me. Then I won­dered if I just felt self-conscious, wor­ry­ing that these peo­ple were much more judg­men­tal than I was lead to believe. Either way, I soon under­stood that it was going to take a long time for my body to catch up with my mind.  No mat­ter how sound or con­vinc­ing the logic behind my deci­sion had been, it wouldn’t mat­ter until I actu­ally put in the work of fig­ur­ing out how to dance.  I’m still strug­gling through it, and that is obvi­ous every time I step out onto the dance floor, but it’s a process, and I under­stand it will take a long time.

Don’t call us …

We’ve looked every­where.  There is no sign of our cord­less phone any­where in our apart­ment.  We only had the one, and the bat­tery was finicky to begin with, so we sus­pect it ran out of power shortly after it was mis­placed.  The rea­son it went unno­ticed for so long is because we used our cell phone much more reg­u­larly, and by the time we thought to call the phone to find it, the bat­tery was already dead.

We’ve retraced our steps to the best of our mem­ory dur­ing the few days when it must have gone miss­ing, but still there is no sign of it.  That has led us to nar­row our list of pos­si­ble cul­prits to one: our one year old daugh­ter.  Her love of tech­ni­cal devices gives her a motive and her new­found walk­ing abil­ity gives her oppor­tu­nity to have car­ried out this offense.  But the most impor­tant step in mak­ing her the prime can­di­date is hav­ing first elim­i­nated our­selves, her parents.

Of course there is the obvi­ous incon­ve­nience of not hav­ing a phone, but that is tem­pered by the fact that we own and pre­fer to use our cell phone.  Any­one who knows to call our land line also knows our cell phone num­ber, and if they don’t, they are prob­a­bly try­ing to sell us some­thing any­way.  It also offends my Men­non­ite sense of eco­nom­ics that I am pay­ing the phone bill to main­tain our con­nec­tion despite not hav­ing the phone, but our inter­net arrives through the same ser­vice provider, so the cost prob­a­bly isn’t that great.  Even­tu­ally we may have to deal with the pos­si­bil­ity of replac­ing it, but for now the great­est incon­ve­nience at this point is the nag­ging pos­si­bil­ity that it is  out of my own idiocy that it is miss­ing in the first place.

I’m a bit of an opti­mist.  I have a feel­ing we’ll find it some­time soon, if only acci­den­tally.  Assum­ing we find the phone, the worst case sce­nario is that we find it a while from now and it’s in a place that makes it obvi­ous that I put it there.  Var­i­ous fac­tors play in to mak­ing some kind of best case sce­nario.  If I find it tomor­row morn­ing, that’d be great.  If I find it lay­ing next to a few other items I’ve lost over the past few months, that’d be nice too.  For a while I was think­ing that the best case sce­nario might be if some­one would come to the door and give us the phone and say that they inad­ver­tently took it dur­ing a recent visit.  Then I thought an even bet­ter sce­nario would be if I don’t find the phone, but a note scrib­bled in crayon that says, “You shall find your phone when you solve these rid­dles three.”  It would make not hav­ing the phone much eas­ier to take if it meant that it was all a trick being played on us by our prodigy of a daughter.

I can’t be the only one with this par­tic­u­lar kind of neu­ro­sis.  When faced with a dif­fi­cult and poten­tially embar­rass­ing sit­u­a­tion, I hold on up to the last pos­si­ble moment to the hope that some­thing will be uncov­ered that will reveal me as innocent.

On a broader scale, we often seek redemp­tion when these sit­u­a­tions come upon us.  This kind of redemp­tion hap­pens in var­i­ous ways.  Maybe some sci­en­tist will dis­cover evi­dence that our recur­ring char­ac­ter flaw is some­how a prod­uct of our evo­lu­tion­ary past and so it’s quite nat­ural.  We might see a guest on Dr. Phil who over­came a sim­i­lar prob­lem to ours and so we have hope.  Or worse, we’ll see a guest on Oprah who used your same prob­lem to become a huge suc­cess story.

If we just wait long enough, the thing that’s wrong with us might just be re-interpreted as a strength and we will be vin­di­cated.  Whereas in the past, peo­ple would try to hide their flaws, today we are encour­aged to take own­er­ship of them, and some­how that way we can over­come them or use them to our ben­e­fit.  We are told to believe that really there is noth­ing wrong with any of us.  We are all spe­cial and valu­able etc.

While I often crave the com­fort that gives, I fall back on Chris­t­ian the­ol­ogy which pro­vides much more com­fort to me in the long term.  Yes, I am spe­cial in God’s eyes and part of his won­der­ful cre­ation, but as a human, I am fun­da­men­tally flawed.  We as a church make it a require­ment that our mem­bers accept and admit that we are flawed and then we work it out together.

The for­mula makes it sound eas­ier than it really is, but I just wish find­ing our phone were that formulaic.

Dawkins’ Greatest Show

Host Mary Hynes admit­ted she had sec­ond thoughts about it.  My expec­ta­tions were also pretty low.  So, when the famously vocal athe­ist Richard Dawkins appeared on one of my favourite podcasts/radio pro­grams, I almost deleted it with­out even upload­ing it to my ipod.  Some­how I decided to lis­ten long enough to make an informed decision.

This epis­doe of CBC Radio’s Tapes­try began with the host dis­cussing the dif­fi­culty of hav­ing an athe­ist on a pro­gram about spir­i­tu­al­ity, and to add to the irony, they were hav­ing the inter­view at a bar.  The guest too sort of won­dered about why he, as an athe­ist, was invited to speak on this par­tic­u­lar type of pro­gram.  “Athe­ist” as a term is sort of like “Gen­tile”, the word Bib­li­cal writ­ers used to define any­one who wasn’t Jew­ish, or “Angulsche”, the Low Ger­man word my par­ents used for girls I prob­a­bly shouldn’t date; it only makes sense within one cul­ture to define every­one out­side of that culture.

Mr. Dawkins was not on the pro­gram to dis­cuss his spir­i­tual per­spec­tive, but to com­bat an opin­ion shared by many spir­i­tual peo­ple.  His lat­est book, The Great­est Show on Earth, asserts that the evo­lu­tion­ary process out­lined by main­stream sci­ence is nei­ther ran­dom, imper­sonal nor void of deeper mean­ing, in fact, it’s quite the opposite.

I was sur­prised at how inter­est­ing and enlight­en­ing his expla­na­tion was.  He talked about how a scene such as a val­ley full of spring flow­ers is actu­ally sur­vival of the fittest at work.  That colour­ful dis­play is the result of var­i­ous forms of plant life comet­ing for the visual atten­tion of pollen car­ry­ing bees.  We as humans ben­e­fit from this show that isn’t really intended for our eyes.  He also spoke about how each of us can cel­e­brate that we exist purely because our ances­tors demon­strated enough strength health and guile to deem them­selves wor­thy of repro­duc­ing and sur­viv­ing.  He also takes issue with label­ing the process as ran­dom.  The species that sur­vived did so because the genetic muta­tions they had under­gone gave them an advan­tage over others.

Some of what he said cre­ated moral and spir­i­tual dis­crep­an­cies in my mind but much of it res­onated with my view that God designed and ini­ti­ated the var­i­ous life pat­terns on this earth that work in a beau­ti­ful and self-sustaining way.  One of my biggest objec­tions is that he tends to talk about human­ity as though we are on a con­tin­ual path of progress (ie. smarter, there­fore stronger, there­fore bet­ter).  This doesn’t jive with my the­o­log­i­cal inter­pre­ta­tion of the nature of human­ity nor does it fit with my view of human his­tory.  Still, he pre­sented his points thought­fully, clearly and with a gen­er­ally respect­ful demeanour.

When the con­ver­sa­tion devi­ated from the book to his own life, it was still inter­est­ing.  He spoke about how he still had a cer­tain admi­ra­tion of the church of Eng­land.  I’m not sure that the feel­ing is mutual.  Dawkins also plans to have a tape recorder at his bed­side so that it will be impos­si­ble for peo­ple to spread rumours of a last minute con­ver­sion to Christianity.

Mary Hynes may have been pre­loaded with talk­ing points from a pre­vi­ous guest on the show, Chris Hedges, the author of I Don’t Believe in Athe­ists (which I found to be an excel­lent read).  Hedges accuses Dawkins and his col­leagues of being nar­row minded and insen­si­tive, essen­tially athe­ist fun­da­men­tal­ists.  As Hynes bought up a few points con­nected to Hedges’ cri­tiques, Dawkins pre­dictably demon­strated those neg­a­tive per­son­al­ity traits.

In the final por­tion of their con­ver­sa­tion, Dawkins high­lighted again how athe­ists are the least likely group in Amer­ica to be elected to pub­lic office.  He uses this and sim­i­lar points to jus­tify the aggres­sive nature with which he and his athe­ist col­leagues assert them­selves.  Hynes coun­tered with a final ques­tion which had been posed to her by some spir­i­tu­ally minded friends of hers.  “What about peo­ple who have spir­i­tual expe­ri­ences but are afraid to share them for fear that they might be looked upon as simple-minded, unin­tel­li­gent, etc.?”  Up to this point I was pre­pared to call it a draw.  The good things he’d said prob­a­bly bal­anced out the bad, and if he gave a good answer to this ques­tion I could write him off sim­ply as a sci­en­tist who had to talk a big game in order to sell books but still a fairly decent, under­stand­ing indi­vid­ual.  Much to my dis­ap­point­ment, and I think the host’s too, he really gave no answer.  He actu­ally laughed and said that he couldn’t imag­ine why any­one would think such a thing.  I’m sure he won’t lose any sleep over fail­ing to gain my endorse­ment, but I’m sure he could have come up with a bet­ter answer than that.

The debate con­tin­ues as Tapes­try hosts Terry Eagle­ton, an ongo­ing par­tic­i­pant in this debate.  I’m look­ing for­ward to it.

By deed, by seed and by creed

That was going to be the title of my book.  After hear­ing a num­ber of peo­ple in my home com­mu­nity strug­gle with the con­cept of being Men­non­ite in var­i­ous cul­tural con­texts, I thought a book like that would help to give clar­ity to the argu­ment.  Essen­tially I was going to say that some­times peo­ple are Men­non­ites by seed (ie. being born into a Men­non­ite fam­ily), by creed (ie. adher­ing to an Anabap­tist Chris­t­ian per­spec­tive), or by deed (ie. act­ing in a way that is sim­i­lar to other Men­non­ites), and that all of these are valid and unde­ni­able expres­sions of Men­non­ite iden­tity whether they are doing so inten­tion­ally, will­ingly or oth­er­wise.  Is it a bad thing that I could sum­ma­rize the whole book in one sen­tence?  Maybe the clever title would sell me a few copies alone.

My book was going to be infor­ma­tive, uplift­ing, inclu­sive and hope­fully a lit­tle humourous as well.  A few things hap­pened along the way to get in the way of putting together a man­u­script: first, I real­ized I was nowhere near qual­i­fied to assem­ble such a vol­ume, sec­ond, I started to actu­ally meet Men­non­ites in other cul­tural con­texts and finally, I got sick of the argu­ment and didn’t want to pub­licly align myself with any of the annoy­ing groups who spoke loudly on this subject.

For me, and all the peo­ple in my church and fam­ily net­works grow­ing up, being Men­non­ite meant a few things.  As Mex­i­can Men­non­ites, we were all first or sec­ond gen­er­a­tion immi­grants in south­ern Ontario, so we car­ried many of the reg­u­lar stig­mas attached to that label.  It meant we were sup­posed to adhere to either a fairly con­ser­v­a­tive or very con­ser­v­a­tive Chris­tian­ity with low to mod­er­ate evan­ge­lism.  Those who were cham­pi­ons of the cul­ture then also cel­e­brated the value of com­mu­nity and humil­ity.  Those who rejected the faith and/or cul­ture did so because they opposed the rigid­ity with which the tra­di­tions were imposed, they despised the enforced self-deprecation and low self esteem, and/or they wanted a larger guilt-free con­nec­tion with main­stream soci­ety.  When youths (or oth­ers) there would accuse the lead­ers of being hyp­ocrites in that con­text, it gen­er­ally meant that they opposed the Phar­isees in Jesus’ time, but lived out an empty rit­u­al­is­tic form of reli­gion all the same.

When I got to Uni­ver­sity I met more dis­en­chanted Men­non­ites.  What sur­prised me was that these were rich kids, of rich par­ents, who knew about and engaged with the world around them, and attended (if only irreg­u­larly) churches that both nur­tured the indi­vid­ual expres­sions of faith as well as the com­mu­nity expe­ri­ence.  To me, they were Men­non­ites with­out all of the embar­rass­ing bag­gage I asso­ci­ated with the term.  As I lis­tened to their sto­ries, I began to hear about more ways that Men­non­ites could be hyp­ocrites.  There’s no need here to go into details, but themes of hoard­ing wealth while boast­ing about their char­ity and cul­tural nar­row mind­ed­ness were common.

So, it was with some inter­est that I have been read­ing the ongo­ing dis­cus­sion that has been printed in the Cana­dian Men­non­ite about faith and cul­ture.  After expe­ri­enc­ing the cross-cultural highs of the most recent Men­non­ite World Con­fer­ence gath­er­ing, it is nat­ural to ask how this con­nec­tion can be strength­ened and main­tained, and nat­u­rally our ten­dency to cul­tural preser­va­tion is brought up as a road block.  Terry Smith’s let­ter to the edi­tor cau­tioned us not to hold on too tightly to our cul­tural iden­tity.  Mr. Smith is him­self an edi­tor, and wrote a while ago in The Mes­sen­ger, the jour­nal pub­lished by the Evan­gel­i­cal Men­non­ite Con­fer­ence where I was once a mem­ber, that we should dis­con­nect our under­stand­ings of faith and cul­ture.  His sug­ges­tion was that we should only refer to our faith/denomination as Men­non­ite, and use other terms for our cul­ture, such as ‘Low Ger­man’.  At that time, I still thought my deed, seed and creed book idea might work so at the very least this would dis­rupt my pub­lish­ing career.  I wrote my own let­ter to the edi­tor, essen­tially say­ing that a name change wouldn’t work and that a mind change was more pos­si­ble and nec­es­sary.  Also, it seems to me there were always school­yard con­se­quences to giv­ing your­self a nickname.

Instead, I think we should feel free to use the term Men­non­ite to apply to a greater num­ber of cul­tural groups.  There are fourth and fifth gen­er­a­tion Men­non­ites in DR Congo, cer­tainly they qual­ify as cul­tural Men­non­ites.  There are sub-cultures all over the world where the only thing that dif­fer­en­ti­ates them from their neigh­bours is that they adhere to Men­non­ite teach­ings.  That sounds like a Men­non­ite cul­ture to me too.

Much of the cur­rent strat­egy to level the eth­nic play­ing field revolves around high­light­ing the role that peo­ple of all cul­tures play in Men­non­ite churches, schools and orga­ni­za­tions, espe­cially non-traditional eth­nic groups and assign­ing these peo­ple into posi­tions of lead­er­ship is a very tan­gi­ble way of doing this.  (Please don’t read this and think that I am sec­ond guess­ing any spe­cific lead­er­ship assign­ments that have been made.)  As a white male with a name like Loewen, I stand to lose from any kind of affir­ma­tive action selec­tion process, but my oppo­si­tion to this mind­set isn’t purely self­ish.  Mostly, I don’t like this kind of top down men­tal­ity.  The solu­tion is not to give more power non-traditional groups, but for all of us to have less power together.  If we are using cul­tural par­ity at the lead­er­ship level as our only mea­sur­ing stick, I think we are neglect­ing the more impor­tant work that is hap­pen­ing at the grass­roots level.  Almost all of us have expe­ri­enced some form of Men­non­ite cul­tural dis­en­chant­ment, but we can’t respond to it by adopt­ing an in and out men­tal­ity.  We need to live out an ongo­ing simul­ta­ne­ous cri­tique and repair of our­selves and our com­mu­ni­ties.  The next gen­er­a­tion of teenagers will have issues with us no mat­ter what.